i think that for a while i managed to fool myself into thinking that something positive might come out of this. that maybe somehow a miracle would happen and that i'd be happy.

but it's been a more than half a year and i don't see this going places. i don't see myself being happy. instead, i feel even more alone than ever. sad, that i allow myself to be such a person. allow myself to be vulnerable when i deserve more because i keep giving. i listen when you're down, i listen when you're happy. but it comes to a point where i don't want to listen anymore. i don't want to hear your stories about so and so because i don't really care what that person said.

so i guess it's time for me to finally say that i've had enough. no more feeling like i should be a good friend, no more feeling somewhat happy at our chats. finito.